Matt Baril

Currently working in a customer service job, one thing that seems endless is customers calling in to vent and use their anger to threaten, manipulate and extort. This is a situation that any community builder will have to face sooner or later. It might be because you posted an article that some people profoundly disagreed with, it might be something you said in an email, a presentation you gave, something you promised that didn't happen, etc. You have 2 options in such a situation, either you stay calm and listen to the person, or you just get angry yourself and try to end the conversation as soon as possible. In a digital context, that would mean you don't bother replying to the comment, emails, tweet, Facebook message, etc.

I recently had the chance to talk to a really nice customer who had herself a long experience in customer service, and she told me that little trick that I just love. The rumour has it that the golden rule in Customer Service is "The customer is always right", but I strongly believe this is wrong and it can be a slippery slope to tell anyone they're right when they're not and it can seriously harm the company or your brand. It doesn't mean you have to tell them they're wrong though. One thing that has become standard and is taught in most customer service training is "Never interrupt a venting customer". People just want to vent and if you listen to them and agree with them, it's fascinating to see how many of them just calm down very quickly, thank you and end the conversation. For the more "challenging" customers, one sentence can come in handy and give the conversation a new direction: "How can I help you?"

Listen to the customer, agree with him/her that what happened was very unpleasant and offer your apologies, summarize the situation by recognizing the customer's pain, but also explain the situation from the company's point of view. Make sure you end by saying "How can I help you." Here is an example:

Customer: This is the worst service ever, I placed my order 5 days ago and your website says 3 days delivery. I want my money back otherwise I swear I'll go talk to the media about your false advertising and crappy service! This is outrageous! You're quite fast to take the money off my credit card, but when the time comes to deliver on your promises that's a whole different story.

CS Rep: I understand this is very disappointing, and I would feel just the same if I were you. You were hoping to have this order delivered today right on time for your daughter's birthday, but the package hasn't arrived yet. Your order was sent within the 2 business days as promised on our website, but it was unfortunately held at customs for 4 days which is the reason why you still haven't received it. The good news is that it's now on its way and will reach its destination tomorrow according to [enter delivery company here]. I understand your frustration and as a loyal customer I believe you deserve the best service. How can I help you?

While this alone won't solve everything, it's most likely to change the tone of the conversation and put the customer in a different mindset, trying to cooperate instead of fighting with you. When building a company, a blog or your personal brand, it's not the way you deal with your fans that will set you apart, but the way you can successfully deal with people who hate or are really angry with you, what you do and waht you say. Everybody can be nice to their fans, that's not very difficult. Converting an angry customer, reader or user in a fan is however the best advertising you can possibly get. If someone has been ranting about you for some days and then changed his or her mind, it will have a profound positive impact on the people they have talked to about you. You'll need some marketing, PR, psychology, diplomacy and self control to be successful, but all the effort is worth it.

Common sense is a dangerous thing since pretty much anything can become common sense even though it doesn't make any sense at all. I don't think it ever made sense to do business without having revenues, but for some reasons it does make common sense now. How many e-business start-ups are begging for money from VCs while their business model is to create value and give it away for free in an attempt to scale up and reach "critical mass market". I had an interesting email exchange with an entrepreneur and MBA candidate from Vancouver and here is a quote (copy/paste):

"When our user-base reaches critical mass then we'll let the community tell us where our value lies, what products they want built, and what it is worth to them. We see this as a long process, but the first stage is building value and giving it away for free."

I love that quote because I think it summarizes so beautifully the mindset most online entrepreneurs have. While this sounds like a great strategy at first glance, it just doesn't make any business and social sense for both the organization and the community. Building a community and doing business should not be separated. They both go together and there is no need to sacrifice any of the two to be successful. it's quite the reverse actually. 

One of the problem with this strategy is that your community has no clue what it wants, most of them are not IT experts, they're common people with normal problems and they expect you to find a solution. It's your role as a leader to come up with solutions. Also, by giving your product away for free you'll either alienate your customer base in a near future or go bankrupt. Not many people would agree to pay for a product or service they had for free not so long ago. The company faces two choices: stay free and have no revenue or start charging and lose the majority of the community it had built. Either way a lot of resources are wasted which is always bad for the society at large and the business.

I wonder if we could shift this mindset and have businesses charging for the products or services right from the beginning and slowly grow a community? It's much better to have 1000 true fans (one of the best marketing article out there, absolutely worth the read) who pay $10/month for your service than 10,000 average fans who don't pay a penny for your product.

The most important point is the fact that this strategy is actually harming the customers. It's just not sustainable and sooner or later the company will have to 1. abandon the product, 2. charge for the product, 3. neglect the product for lack of resources. In each outcomes the community loses. Having a product at a fair price right from the beginning allows the company to invest all the resources necessary to provide the best value for the community in a sustainable way. This in turn will create a satisfied community which is more likely to have more dedicated fans.

PS. I strongly suggest you to listen to a podcast from 37signals about this "online phenomenon" of giving everything for free in an attempt to falsely build communities. http://37signals.com/podcast/#episode5

How many times have you had that great new project idea that would change your life or even the world? Now, how many times have you actually gone ahead with that idea or project? The fact is that we all have these ideas or projects or dreams and only few people actually achieve them. A few years ago, I decided I would realize my dreams/projects/ideas and changed my thinking and my decision making process. I've been achieving many more projects and dreams than ever before. In a 5 years time span, I lived in England for a year, did a 2 month Euro trip, got promoted at my job, obtained a Comp. Sc. diploma from Laval University, moved to Vancouver, learned English, obtained a BBA from SFU, became VP for a student association, got married, got involved for the Olympics, represented SFU at one International and one local Business Case Competitions, and now I'm in the planning stage for an internship to India. It seems like everything is working out and this has started to happen only when I changed the way I was thinking. I've had my fair share of failures, actually a lot of them before that 5 year period, but now things have shifted and things seem to be good.

Some people think realizing your dreams and your projects is difficult and that you need luck or a high IQ or a lot of money. That hasn't been the case for me as I'm not rich, have an average IQ and I'm no more lucky than anyone else. Sure bad luck (death, disease, etc.) can be problematic, but as long as you're average in terms of luck, there is no reasons not to go ahead with your dreams.

Here I mapped the way I used to see and manage my personal projects and dreams:

I think this flow represents well how most people manage their personal dreams and projects and I do think this model is an inheritance from our cavemen ancestors. It seems to me that this thinking process offered some strong advantages for our ancestors and could explain in part why we're bad at realizing our dreams and projects. First, it offers the advantage of improving group cohesion as other people are included in the decision making process. Cohesion was essential for the survival of every member of the tribe as the power of the number could fight most natural enemies and overcome natural disasters. Second, the final decision as to whether or not go ahead with a project is based on fear, a deep rooted emotion that has kept us safe from predators for millenniums. The fear to be excluded of the group and therefore die (remember we're back in prehistory time), fear to use too much time on something that will not work while we could have been stocking food, etc. Third, if status quo works, then stick with status quo as you're almost certain to survive as did all your ancestors before you.

Take this caveman made up story as an example of how the decision process works.

A caveman in a spark of genius has the great idea [New Project Idea] of making a weapon that would allow him to throw stones. He gets all excited [excitement] about it and starts wondering how it could be done. He starts asking himself many questions [Questions], some technical such as what should it be made of, what should it look like, etc. Others more practical: would it be useful, would he use it at all, etc. All these questions led our caveman to start doubting [doubt] the weapon could be made at all, maybe it was just one of these silly ideas after all. Our caveman, not so sure about his idea anymore decided to seek for other peoples' opinion in the tribe about this little project [Seeking Recomfort] and see what they thought of the weapon. People were very skeptical, no one had thought of such a thing, and come on throwing stones? You could do it barehanded, no need for a weapon. Our poor caveman was now pretty convinced it could not be done [more doubts] and now was scared to look like a fool and lose the tribe's respect if he were to go ahead with his "stone thrower" [Fear of Failure]. After all, if it was such a great idea someone would have thought of it already [Rationalization]? This stupid idea finally died out to never be considered again [Drop Project].

Now, the outcome is definitely not optimal as a tool to throw stones would have been useful for the tribe. But that's the nature of evolution, you don't have to be perfect to survive, you have to adapt. When it becomes impossible to hunt without a tool to throw stones, then only those who can invent it and adapt will survive. For now, the cohesion has been kept among the group and the time saved by not working on such a tool can be spent on hunting and berry picking which directly increases the chances of surviving. While this decision process will keep you alive in the wild, I hope you agree with me that it's not so well adapted to our current lives. 

The first step to fight this internal instinct is to be aware of this natural tendency and to understand its weaknesses. For instance, it seems we're relying to much on our emotions (fear and doubt) and on other peoples' opinion which leads to killing the project or the dream without giving it a fair chance. What can we do to change this? Here's a mapping of the thinking model I'm using right now:

There are three main key concepts in this chart:

1. Emotions are not the basis of decision making, even though they are considered and included all along
2. Other people's opinion are excluded from the decision making process per se, but considered nonetheless
3. It's an endless cycle, not a straight flow
4. It's all about you (I know I said 3 key concepts, but that one is a freebee)

So now we have an internal thinking and decision making process with two external elements: data and noise. That means you are in control of what decision you'll make as external factors are considered, but do not impact your decision directly as it was the case before. The trick here is to use people and emotions (e.g. doubt and fear) as a question generator. Instead of letting emotions and people control your dreams and the outcome of your project, use them to come up with relevant questions to the project. Questions are meant to make sure you've planned out everything and lead you closer to your ultimate objective.

We shouldn't think of projects as straight forward as they really are cyclical. As a matter of fact, most things are cyclical and this is no different. If someone comes up with strong arguments of why your dream doesn't make sense, look at it as one iteration and not as a make or break kind of situation. If really your dream does not benefit you in the long run though, make sure you exit that project as soon as possible.

The strength of this model is that now you're not asking yourself "is this possible", you're asking yourself "Is this good for me in the long run" which totally shifts the way you perceive things. The question generation followed by the research of information will tell you whether it's possible or not. When you have all the information at hand, then it becomes extremely easy to make a decision. You literally need a few minutes or even seconds to make your decision even though the project will have tremendous impact on your life. Your decision making is driven by facts and by what's good for you.

So how would our caveman do with the new cycle? Well, he would still go ask people what they think about his idea. Obviously people would find it ridiculous since you can throw stones barehanded, no need for a weapon. Moreover hunting is more important than wasting time building wooden toys, they told him. However, our caveman would think about what the advantages of using such a tool would be: possibility to reach preys far away, more speed in the stone means a more deadly weapon, etc. Would that be good for him in the long run? Sure, he could kill more small preys and stock more food. That gets him excited as he's going for a walk and tinkering two pieces of wood in a "Y" shape.

When we're building an online community, we're building a tribe as Seth Godin said. It's important to understand our tribe and help them reach their goals and realize their dreams. Tribes are not about surviving anymore, they're about meaningful relationships based on trust. People want to connect with other people like themselves and they want to realize their dreams more than anything else. You can use Social Media to empower your tribe by connecting them to key people, giving them the right resources, pointing them in the right direction, etc. Help them generating relevant questions to their project and provide them with the data they need to figure out these questions. Encourage them to engage in a cyclical process so they can reach their goals and make their dreams come true.

It seems like there is a a certain resistance towards Social Media that's coming from a growing number of professionals in regards with the usefulness of belonging and using Social Networks. I've heard, and you probably did too, 3 main arguments against Social Networking websites:

1. Privacy concerns
2. Time commitment required to really tap into the power of Social Networks
3. Addictive effect of most Social Media tools – Time waster

These are all, to some level, justified and yes Social Networking brings its own challenges, but one should realize that these 3 "weaknesses" are people related. In other words you are the problem and not Social Networks per say: you decide what information goes on your profile, you decide how much time you spend networking, and you let yourself spend way too much time on Social Networking Websites. Instead of throwing the baby out with the bath water, professionals should work at finding a balance between Social Media and their career and lives.

There are at least 5 top reasons why professionals cannot afford not to join these Social Networks:

1. If you're not online, you don't exist

Whether you like it or not, if you're a professional, you're also a brand and more exposure can lead to a better reputation, increased credibility/authority and more contracts or a better job. People rely on the web for most of the information they need, and if you're not there you just don't exist. If people have a discussion about a topic you have expertise in but you're not there, you don't exist. There is so much information delivered to so many people with traditional marketing that the sign you bought at the bus stop is not likely to do you much good. Social Media will not kill traditional marketing, but for people operating in niches it just doesn't make any sense to buy expensive advertising with low efficiency rates. People's attention span for advertising is decreasing and you're energy would be better spent advertising to people who actually want to hear from you.

2. It's not what you know, but who you know

I think this one is obvious, there are millions of people using LinkedIn, Twitter and Facebook and odds are that a few thousands are people with similar interests as you, or could be potential customers/employers. You can get business leads, you can grow your customer base, you can learn from the people you connect with. You can get a better understanding of what the people you connect with want and what they're looking for. More connections with more people means you know more, you understand better and you're on top of the game. Being actively connected with hundreds of people in your industry will bring opportunities you could never have expected.

3. Keep your hundred of connections alive

There is so many people you can reach and keep in touch with without Social Media tools. Emails, phone calls, letters, pigeons all require a lot of time and energy. How many people can you actively and seriously keep in touch with without Social Media? 50? 75? You need to actively be involved in order to get the information from them and therefore keep these connections and their potential leads alive. With Social Networks, the information comes to you instead of you going after the information. Your reach will be much broader and you'll be closer to any of connections than ever before. The mistake people shouldn't make here is that you don't have to give up emails and phone calls to use Social Media. Keep these more traditional time consuming methods for your top connections.

4. A time saver, not a time waster

Things are shifting and you can now easily have 300+ active connections and keep track of what they're doing, how they're doing and the business opportunities they offer. Clicking a like button or commenting "Hey! Nice job, congrats!" doesn't require much time, but keeps that connection alive. People who claim Social Media is a big time waster don't understand it. I challenge you to keep 300 connections with emails and phone calls. Social Networks take time because we're connected to so many more people. Chances are that most of the time you're emailing people instead of calling them as it was common place 20 years ago, social media does the same by decreasing the amount of emails you write and receive. Don't get me wrong, emails and phone calls will always be there, but they'll be kept for top connections as they take more time.

5. Keeps you in the loop

LinkedIn and Facebook have an event feature, Twitter has created a new social phenomenon called Tweetup, and unconferences are becoming more common. The fact is that Social Media might be in the virtual world, but it'll lead to more real world connections and will help expanding your real world network. People organize themselves with online tools, and once again if you're not there you don't exist and won't be invited. Social Networks also help you being on top of what's happening and keeps you in the know with important information: birthdays in Facebook, most interesting articles of the day with Twitter and professional networking events with LinkedIn are just a few examples.

Social Media provides you with everything you need to know, and it's up to you whether or not you want to listen to Social Media. I understand some people just hate Social Media and cannot be convinced and I'd like to know why. If you know one of these people, send them this article so they get a chance to share what they have to say. What about you? Do you like or hate Social Media?

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